


You Can Be My Compass

by Snakebitten_Heart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 3x1 fic, Bokuaka - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Little bit of humor if you squint, M/M, again if you squint, little bit of angst but its cute??, platonic Bokuro, pretty much all stupid fluff, seriously the editing is so rough, this was way longer than I expected once again, unbata'd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-16
Updated: 2015-04-16
Packaged: 2018-03-23 04:57:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3755281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snakebitten_Heart/pseuds/Snakebitten_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Akaashi picks Bokuto up when he's down and one time Bokuto does the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can Be My Compass

**Author's Note:**

> I don't really have anything to say for this. I wrote this in two days and it was mostly just an excuse to write something short (er, kind of?) and sweet after spending months on my last fic. Enjoy.  
> [Title taken from the song "Happy Endings Are Stories That Haven't Ended Yet" by Mayday Parade.]  
> 

**i.**

The first (see: tenth) time it happens, it’s directly following a practice match against Nekoma. Fukurodani lost two sets to one for what is probably only the second time the entire season-- the first was when the first years joined, and that wasn’t unexpected.

No one says it out loud, but everyone knows the loss is mostly-- if not entirely-- Bokuto’s fault.

Akaashi doesn’t usually like to ask-- or even think-- about what Kuroo and Bokuto get up to when the rest of the team isn’t around, but something seriously monumental must’ve gone down between them because Bokuto literally hasn’t been _there_ \-- as in mentally-- the entire set and Akaashi knows it’s Kuroo’s fault, if his devious smirk is anything to go by.

In hindsight, maybe setting more towards Bokuto from the start might’ve helped with his dejection, but Akaashi was so shocked after Bokuto missed--  _completely_ missed-- the first two sets that he stopped passing them to him altogether. He saw the growing pout, of course he did, and maybe he should’ve known the captain better than to assume his roles, but he was just looking out for the team, really. They managed well enough the half of the first game, but then Bokuto stopped participating at all and coach had to pull him out, and Akaashi was so distracted making sure Bokuto wasn’t sitting on the bench crying that he missed half of his sets and everything-- for lack of better phrasing-- went to shit.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi calls out across the gym, spotting him in the far corner throwing a ball against the wall. “The game is over. You can go change.” The rest of the teams are already in the locker room, if not walking out the doors to head home.

Bokuto grumbles something under his breath and hobbles towards the locker rooms, head hung low and hair-- which for once hasn’t fallen with the weight of sweat-- pointed straight up. It’s the most pitiful Akaashi’s seen Bokuto for a while-- let's be real, he’s always pitifully pouting, but not to this extent.

“What did Kuroo do _this_ time?” Akashi says when he catches up with Bokuto inside the locker room. He tries his best to keep the protective-but-disapproving mom tone out of his voice, but this is really nothing new and it’s exactly what he feels like. Bokuto grumbles incoherently again. “What was that, Bokuto?”

“I said,” he huffs, blowing his bangs away from his face and pouting like the child he is at heart, “Kuroo won’t go to the zoo with me to see the new owl exhibit. He says it’s too cold, but I told them they were nocturnal so it didn’t matter, and then he called me stupid because going at night would make it even colder, as if that what nocturnal even means. Then we got into a fight and he challenged me to Janken for twenty yen and I lost.” he whines, beginning to strip his shirt.

Akaashi’s eyes just about roll into his skull and it takes all his willpower not to let out an exasperated sigh. The things he deals with for this team.

“Did he do anything else to make you so down?” he asks once his shirt is off his chest, watching as the last member of the teams exits and leaves them alone.

Bokuto thinks for a moment, “Mmmh, no.” he sighs. “But I’m still mad. That was my lunch money for tomorrow.”

“I’m sure you can ask your mom for more,” he assures, going into his Bokuto-comforter mode. This should be easy. “Also, I’m sure Kuroo didn’t mean to hurt your feelings about the zoo. He is right that it’ll be cold, no matter when you go,” he almost regrets what he says next, but, “If it’s really that important, I’ll go with you when I’m free from work.”

Bokuto-- if it were possible-- lights up like a Christmas tree.

“You’d do that for me?” he asks, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Akaashi smiles as warmly as he can and nods. “Wow!” Bokuto yells. “You’re the greatest, Akaashi! I could kiss you!”

It’s a joke and they both know it, but the blush creeping up Akaashi’s cheeks is still something he has to work to hide, so he’s quick to change the topic.

“Thanks, Bokuto. Let’s get meat buns on the way home, yeah? My treat.”

“Oh my god,” Bokuto hoots. “Yesssss!” he yells, then proceeds to run out of the room chanting, “Meat buns! Meat Buns! Meat- Hey, Kuroo, guess what? Akaashi’s buying me _meat buns!”_ (Kuroo’s reply is, of course, a laughing, “Oh ho ho?” and what sounds like a high five.)

Akaashi laughs to himself, never used to Bokuto’s mood swings and exuberant nature, but never the less infatuated like always. That's- well, it’s something he’s slowly coming to terms with.

**ii.**

“Bokuto. Bro. _Bro_ kuto.” Kuroo says to Bokuto after an afternoon joint practice. “I have something to tell you.”

“Why, Kuroo, my platonic love, whatever do you need?” Bokuto coos, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and a dramatic sigh.

Akaashi watches from across the gym whilst Konoha talks animatedly in his right ear about something or another-- he’s way more focused on the way Bokuto’s eyes light up and his hands fly animatedly when Kuroo brings up something exciting. If only he could look that happy around Akaashi-- though he’d probably be pretty annoying, too. The dilemma…

“Akaashi-kun have you told Bokuto you wanna fuck him yet?” Konoha says upon realizing the reason for his neglect. Akaashi chokes on his own spit in shock, turning to stare wide-eyed at Konoha because that is _definitely_ not something he ever told Konoha about.

“What?!” he splutters. “I- it’s not- I don’t-!!”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Konoha deadpans.

“Please don’t say those things so loud,” Akaashi mumbles as calmly as possible, and then, “...Was it really that obvious?”

Konoha shrugs. Akaashi wants to beg him to elaborate-- prays Konoha’s just perceptive and that he’s as good at hiding his emotions as he hopes he is-- but Kuroo and Bokuto are getting a bit too loud and it’s distracting.

Bokuto is flailing his arms-- even more so than before-- and stomping his feet childishly. Kuroo says something right up in his face and Bokuto snaps, screaming, “Fuck you, man. I want a divorce!” and stomping off towards Akaashi. Oh, joy.

“Akaashiiii!” Bokuto yells-- whines-- a second later, standing in front of Akaashi in a way that demands attention and love-- hands on his hips and chest puffed out.

“Yes, Bokuto?” Akaashi asks.

Bokuto points an accusing finger in Kuroo’s direction and whines, “Kuroo says my hair looks stupid,” Akaashi sighs, unsurprised.

“Your hair looks fine, Bokuto. Kuroo is just mad because he has perpetual bed hair.”

Bokuto snickers,-- he’s too easy, really-- laughing as Kuroo splutters a “Hey, asshole!”

“Come on, Bokuto, let's head home.”

Bokuto nods and tries--fails-- to nonchalantly shake his hair out whilst showing off what he thinks is his best side-- his right-- proudly. Akaashi contains an uncharacteristic laugh in favor of pulling on Bokuto’s sleeve-- somebody should buy him a leash what with how much he runs off-- to head out.

On the way home, he stops at the mini market for drinks and-- for some reason unbeknownst to him-- ends up buying them matching owl keychains. He, of course, doesn’t tell Bokuto he bought one for himself as well- that would be far too cheesy of a thing to do, and he isn’t about that. Bokuto’s face, when he grasps the small Horned Owl in his palm, is priceless enough to bring an all-too-familiar ache to Akaashi’s gut, so he’s quick to usher them on home so he can be alone with what are turning out to be quite overwhelming butterflies.

The only thing Akaashi will never understand is why, of all people, he got stuck infatuated with the biggest idiot in the whole world.

He doesn’t mind as much as he probably should, though.

**iii.**

The last of the last times Akaashi ends up becoming Bokuto’s rock isn’t a time he particularly enjoys, for once.

He doesn’t approach the matter knowing that it would be the last time he could help Bokuto out, at least for a while, but he wishes he had so that he could maybe prepare or something, because walking in on your best friend crying in the second-year restroom a week before graduation isn’t something most people know how to react to-- Akaashi included.

Everyone who closely knows or is a third year is allowed-- expected to, even, if you’re not a heartless bastard or Akaashi Keiji-- to cry on graduation day. That goes without saying. However, not many people find it _normal_ or whatever when someone breaks down before then if it isn’t unrelated.

Akaashi didn’t of course know what Bokuto was crying-- of if it even was Bokuto, but the sobs coming from the stall sounded close enough and he took a wild guess-- but Akaashi’s role as Bokuto’s pillow is still the same.    

“Bokuto?” he knocks on the stall in front of him, cringing at the way his voice and knuckles echo against the tiles of the empty restroom.

The sniffles and gasps stop for a moment, but it seems Bokuto doesn’t have it in him to keep them down for long, gasping out a broken, “A-Akaa-shi,” between hiccups.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi sighs, not at all in his usual mocking tone. Something tells him this is different. “What’s wrong, Bokuto? Can I come in?” No response is given but for the squeaking of the hinges on the stall door as it’s pulled open.

“Oh, Bokuto,” he gasps at the sight of his friend, the boy who's so _strong_ , albeit a little crazy, curled up on the floor looking absolutely wrecked. Sorrow stains his cheeks red and leaves tear streaks down his face, painting his always-exuberant features dark.

“A-kaashi,” Bokuto gasps out again, holding out his arms weakly. Without hesitation, Akaashi kneels down and pulls Bokuto into his arms, awkwardly snaking his arms around his waist from behind and resting his forehead against Bokuto’s back.

For once in a really long time, he feels absolutely useless.

As much as he acts like he knows what he’s doing when it comes to lifting Bokuto’s spirits, knowing how to help Bokuto and how to _help_ Bokuto are two entirely different concepts, and up until now Akaashi’s been relying on his ability to pinpoint the severity of the situation and act accordingly. Usually, a dejected Bokuto just needs someone to compliment him, to make him feel good about himself again. Bokuto knows he’s hot shit, but his insecurities often get the best of him. Akaashi can handle that. He’s been doing it for two years.

But the Bokuto he sees now isn’t dejected, he’s _heartbroken_. Akaashi has no clue what to do now, and it sucks.

“I feel so stupid,” Bokuto says after what feels like a year of sitting in tense silence-- well, it was tense for Akaashi, but maybe that was all Bokuto really needed then, if the absence of his hiccups is anything to go by. “I’m sorry- I’m sorry you had to see me like this,” his voice cracks on the last word, and Akaashi’s heart lurches.

Maybe there isn’t really a right way to go about this, he thinks. Following his instincts could be dangerous, but he’s got nothing else, so he takes a breath, then, “I don’t care if you’re the most perfect person in the world, Bokuto. Don’t ever feel like you have to hide what you’re feeling from me.”

Bokuto sniffles again. It’s kind of gross, really, so Akaashi hands him a wad of toilet paper from the dispenser inches from his head the way he’s leaning on the stall and hands it to Bokuto, who takes it gratefully.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akaashi asks once he’s disposed of the contents within his nose. Bokuto seems to hesitate, tensing in Akaashi’s arms for a minute, before nodding. Akaashi hopes that not having to look him in the eye helps Bokuto, because he knows how hard it can be to open your heart when someone is staring into your soul.

“I-- this is so stupid, honestly-- but I was walking past some of the classrooms, right-” he pauses to sniffle again. Akaashi nods encouragingly against his shoulder and notices suddenly that he can see the definition of Bokuto’s jaw so differently from here, is reminded once again how beautiful Bokuto is when he glances at the way moisture clings to his long lashes. It’s sadistic and completely not cool to think, but Bokuto is really pretty even when he’s crying.

“Everyone looks so happy, and I couldn’t help but think- god, hang on,” he chuckles at his inability to speak. Akaashi doesn’t find it all that funny and the way Bokuto clenches his teeth is sign enough that Bokuto doesn’t either. “I don’t have much time left, you know?” Akaashi thinks he does, yet not really. “I’m graduating in a _week_. I feel like there’s still so much to do, so many people to say goodbye to. It’s too much.”

“You still have a week, Bokuto. I’m sure you can tell everyone goodbye by then…?” He’s confused, but saying so would most definitely hurt Bokuto more.

“But see that’s the thing, Akaashi,” he says, “I don’t want to say goodbye. I know it sounds stupid, and I know that I’ll still see most of my friends in college or at work or wherever we choose to go, but I feel like-- I feel like I’m leaving so much behind. The team, the second years, _you_. I just-- it’s a lot to let go of, you know? There’s no way I can keep up with all of it when I’m gone.”

When Akaashi understands it’s like a punch to the gut. Bokuto-- his beautiful, strong, fearless, Bokuto-- is terrified. And he gets it, he really does, because Akaashi sure as hell doesn’t want to leave so much behind when he goes, but there’s no telling where life will take them. He doesn’t want Bokuto to go either. Not without a guarantee that they’ll meet again-- but that’s impossible.

Despite everything he knows, though, he says, “I won’t just abandon you like that, Bokuto. You should know that by now,” into the skin of his neck, too scared to say it to his face.

Bokuto turns completely, forcing Akaashi to remove his arms, to look at him for the first time since Akaashi put him arms around him and it’s such an intense gaze, Akaashi feels trapped-- but not afraid.

“Akaashi- I-” he stumbles over his words, but impatience gets to best of Akaashi and before he knows it he’s leaning against Bokuto’s knees and he’s _kissing_ him.

He has no idea what he’s doing when he cups Bokuto’s chin in his hands, but the way Bokuto presses back against him gives him hope and he focuses all he has into conveying his commitment, making sure Bokuto knows that-- whether or not he want’s it-- Akaashi isn’t going anywhere.

They kiss for a long while--sloppily and definitely inexperienced-- until Akaashi can’t breathe and his head is reeling. Bokuto is the one to pull back first, panting and gasping against Akaashi’s lips.

“Wow,” he mumbles dumbly. “That was- that was- yeah.”

“I’ve wanted to do that for a really long time,” Akaashi shamelessly admits.

Bokuto smiles softly. It doesn’t quite meet his eyes, but it’s sincere to say the least. Akaashi knows Bokuto’s got a lot on his mind still, and there’s nothing else Akaashi can promise to Bokuto about his future but he hopes with this-- his kiss, his love-- he can take some of that weight off of Bokuto’s shoulders.

It’s selfish to say the least that he assumes this is what Bokuto wants, that by giving away himself he can somehow cure his worries, but maybe for once he’s right. He hopes he is at least, and maybe it’ alright to say that the smile Bokuto’s giving him is thankful because this is the only way Akaashi knows to help this time.

“Thank you,” Bokuto says, “for always being there for me, even when I was being shit.”

Akaashi laughs softly. “It’s alright if it’s you. I like all of your sides, even the crazy ones,” he assures.

“That’s good, then,” Bokuto replies, chuckling. “Because I’m totally gonna go out there and yell my head off now, because- well, shit-- you actually like me,” he laughs, relieved. Akaashi laughs along, rolling his eyes as the light returns to Bokuto’s eyes and his cheeks stop looking so akin to tomatoes.

They stand after a few minutes of sitting quietly, Akaashi cursing when he realizes he’s gonna show up halfway through class with no explanation. Bokuto pulls him into a final embrace as they enter the hall, leaving his first initiated kiss on Akaashi’s cheek and giving him a devious grin before skipping down the hall in the opposite direction of Akaashi.

He doesn’t really know what it means, the kisses or anything that just happened. He hopes they can just skip the asking out part and maybe-- not really at all-- ok if Bokuto also decides he wants nothing to do with Akaashi any more. He can only hope for the best at this point, though.

(When they leave school later that evening, Bokuto grabs his hand the minute they’re out the gate. Akaashi returns the gesture with a smile towards Bokuto’s proud grin and laughs a little when Bokuto does an obnoxious happy wiggle of his hips. Things are good, really.)

**+** **i.**

Graduation day, as expected, brings with it a _lot_ of tears.

Second and first year students have the option of attending the ceremonies or going home, but almost the entire second year and a good half of the first years end up attending anyways. Akaashi is among the group, sitting towards the back with Wataru and Komi, who are blubbering like babies.

Akaashi is right there with them if we're talking about emotional states, though. He’s one the edge of tears in what feels like the first time since he was a kid, and he hates every vulnerable minute of it.

Akaashi got the pleasure of helping Bokuto get his graduation gown on and situated and was with him while he whined and grumbled about the heavy fabric making him sweat. He got to hear Bokuto talk about how much he was going to miss the place and congratulated Bokuto on getting out but parting ways was what finally brought on the onslaught of emotions he was going through as he sat and listened to the speaker call name after name

Bokuto was really leaving for good. He was never coming back, and though they probably had summer to be together, this was the end. He wishes he hadn’t waited so long to express his feelings.

Foul emotions brew in his chest, threaten to bubble over and spill all the doubts and fears Akaashi has for the future into his veins and poison him to death. He hits boiling point when the principal announces Bokuto’s name.

People clap and cheer-- someone who sounds suspiciously like Kuroo even hoots loudly-- all around, but Akaashi can’t hear over the sound of his heart beating in his throat.

He’s proud of Bokuto, of course he is. He’s absolutely ecstatic, actually, but it’s not enough to calm the swell of fear that crashes against the rocks of his heart. And maybe it's a combination of his fears and pride that causes a tear to roll down his cheek, followed by another, then probably ten more. He doesn’t know. All he knows it that he’s full out sobbing by the time the next name is called and Konoha is looking at him likes he’s crazy, but it’s ok because he probably is and he's so _scared_ and _proud_ and maybe even a little in love that he can’t breathe. It’s too much, he needs to get out.

Akaashi takes refuge in the first year bathroom just outside of the auditorium where the ceremony is being held. It takes him a good five minutes to will the tears streaming down his face to stop, and another ten to get the flush out of his face and his heartbeat back to normal. He splashes cool water on his face to remove the remaining signs of wear until he thinks he can pass for serious again.

He walks out of the bathroom only to run into a familiar chest and looks up to see Bokuto staring down at him surprised.

“Akaashi,” he says, perking up immediately. Akaashi’s heart lurches again at the thought of losing that radiance. “Hey hey hey, did you see my acceptance? Did I look cute?” Bokuto asks, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively

“Shouldn’t you be inside, Bokuto?” Akaashi asks, opting not to humor him. He’s too tired to really do anything right.

“Had to pee,” he shrugs, then freezes as he realizes Akaashi won’t look at him.  “Hey,” Bokuto frowns. Akaashi shakes his head when Bokuto tries to pull his face up. “What’s wrong?”

Akaashi sighs a bit too shakily. “It’s nothing, Bokuto. We can talk after the ceremony,” he says, then walks off before Bokuto can do anything about it. He’s a coward with his own feelings and he hates it, but he’s scared telling Bokuto that he doesn’t know what will happen to them will make everything worse.

He gets back to his seat and spends the rest of the ceremony in his own little world inside his brain. No one says anything when he’s the first one out of his seat at the end, but that's probably because he doesn’t give them a chance to.

He had planned on making a quick exit, heading home, and probably sleeping forever, but the world apparently has other plans as he soon finds himself stuck behind the entire third year class exiting the main doors. Bokuto is right in front of him.

He has all of two seconds to escape and he wastes them completely before someone shoves him from behind right into his boyfriend. Akaashi isn’t sure whether to thank them or kill them.

“Hey, watch where- Akaashi?” Bokuto turns with a not-so-intimidating glare that lasts a grand total of two seconds before his face is softening with pity and remembrance of earlier. Akaashi wants to slap the look right off of Bokuto’s face. Nobody ever pities him.

“Bokuto,” Akaashi nods curtly, awkwardly. “Congrats again,” he attempts. Bokuto sees through him.

“Are we going to talk about earlier?” he asks softly, dragging Akaashi off to the side of the crowd. Akaashi huffs childishly and makes a show of dragging behind to convey his unwillingness-- he feels like Bokuto. “Akaashi, c’mon.” Bokuto begs when Akaashi stays silent. “Talk to me, babe. You freaked me out earlier. Still are, if I’m honest. What’s wrong?”

He’s beginning to understand how Bokuto was feeling last week when Akaashi walked in on him crying. Confessing this stuff is hard because it’s such a stupid concept that’s all too real.

“If I tell you I’m a hypocrite,” he opts for, hoping Bokuto will get the hint. The sigh he lets out confirms it, but Akaashi doesn’t expect to be squished into a hug in front of everyone. (He doesn’t object, though.)

“Baby,” Bokuto mumbles into his hair, followed by a soft peck. It’s weird, being comforted by Bokuto. He definitely doesn’t know what to do or how to react. Part of him is waiting for Bokuto to bust out some lame jokes to try and help. That he’s so serious is a strange and foreign occurrence. What happened to his crybaby boyfriend?!

“So I freaked you out the other day, huh? I’m sorry,” Bokuto says.

“I get what you were feeling, now,” Akaashi says to Bokuto’s shoulder. “I-I’m terrified, honestly. I didn’t get it before but seeing you graduate-- you’re really leaving, you know? I feel like I wasted so much time watching you from afar and now you’re here but you’re leaving. And I can’t promise I’ll follow you.” Bokuto-- thankfully-- doesn’t comment on how his voice gets sufficiently shakier at the end and his eyes damper.

“Akaashi,” Bokuto pulls him away from his chest slightly, leaving his arms lingering on Akaashi’s elbows so he can look into his eyes. “I’m not going to give up on you like that. And I’ll give you every reason I can to make you stay. I know we’ve only just started dating, but I honestly- just, when I look at you-- this is going to sound crazy-- but I see the future. And I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but that’s how I see it and I want to be with you, in like, a forever type way.”

It isn’t something Akaashi’s had much time to ponder, but he can honestly say he feels the same. Bokuto is such a stable part of his life, even before they were dating, that losing him would be like taking out half of his heart-- as cliche as that sounds.

“I see that too,” he admits. Bokuto grins brightly and hugs him once again.

“We’ll figure this out, don’t you worry. I don’t plan on leaving the country or anything near that, and with my luck it’ll take at least until your graduation to get a job and funds for college. Might not even go, if it keeps me from you.” He chuckles.

“I’ll go where you go. Don’t let me stop you from doing what you want though.”

“Ah, I know, I know. But I do mean it. I don’t want anything to keep me away.”

“We could move in together when I graduate maybe,” he says before he can think about it. He thanks god that Bokuto can’t see his face, but he knows he’s grinning ear to ear. It’s embarrassing.

“You’re serious?” Bokuto gasps. Akaashi nods reluctantly before Bokuto pulls his face to his and kisses him. Akaashi melts. “I’d love that,” Bokuto says when he pulls away, breathless.

“I think I would too.” he grins.

The rest of the day is spent as close to each other as possible. They get more than a few odd looks from people they talk to, but it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that Bokuto is there. Bokuto is with him. Just like he always has been. Just like he always should be. Nothing is going to take that from them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Your feedback is invaluable so please feel free to leave comments and kudos.  
> You can find me on tumblr [here.](http://www.vxrbatiim.tumblr.com)


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